Detroit Thoughts

I grew up in Detroit and I never really saw anything wrong with the thought patterns of those around me. But, recently there have been somethings that have made me stand up and take notice.

For instance, I have a client who is intelligent, has a master's and wants to make money using the Internet. I was hired to help. I have been doing my job, but understandably there is a learning curve.

The Internet is a marvelous tool, but it must be mastered one step at a time. I try to explain this to my client and unfortunately it falls on deaf ears.

This story relates because as a longtime metro-Detroiter I see so much disarray that could be avoided if only we would hear our advisers. We hire and seek their counsel for a reason, but if we misguidedly thing we know more then them we as the pupil fail.

I see this happening more and more in Detroit and unfortunately in society at large. Maybe it's time that we start listening, trusting and respecting our counsel. I think it will show in our own image of self-respect.

Yea, it has been said in other ways the most important way is: "respect Authority."

BEST,
RAINY

Our thoughts can make or break us...

While reading and researching for this blog I found this article on how we can hurt ourselves through our thought process.

Best,
Rainy

The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking
From "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns, M.D. © 1989

As you work through your recovery and become more skilled at using The Four Agreements and The Five Steps, you will find yourself becoming more aware of twisted thinking as part of your Borderline view of the world around you. These guidelines of twisted thinking from Dr. David Burns are invaluable to help you as your proceed on your journey of healthy, happy living.

1. All-or-nothing thinking - You see things in black-or-white categories. If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure. When a young woman on a diet ate a spoonful of ice cream, she told herself, "I've blown my diet completely." This thought upset her so much that she gobbled down an entire quart of ice cream.

2. Overgeneralization - You see a single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or a career reversal, as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as "always" or "never" when you think about it. A depressed salesman became terribly upset when he noticed bird dung on the window of his car. He told himself, "Just my luck! Birds are always crapping on my car!"

3. Mental Filter - You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, so that your vision of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors a beaker of water. Example: You receive many positive comments about your presentation to a group of associates at work, but one of them says something mildly critical. You obsess about his reaction for days and ignore all the positive feedback.

4. Discounting the positive - You reject positive experiences by insisting that they "don't count." If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well. Discounting the positives takes the joy out of life and makes you feel inadequate and unrewarded.

5. Jumping to conclusions - You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion.

Mind Reading : Without checking it out, you arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you.

Fortune-telling : You predict that things will turn out badly. Before a test you may tell yourself, "I'm really going to blow it. What if I flunk?" If you're depressed you may tell yourself, "I'll never get better."

6. Magnification - You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings, or you minimize the importance of your desirable qualities. This is also called the "binocular trick."

7. Emotional Reasoning - You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel terrified about going on airplanes. It must be very dangerous to fly." Or, "I feel guilty. I must be a rotten person." Or, "I feel angry. This proves that I'm being treated unfairly." Or, "I feel so inferior. This means I'm a second rate person." Or, "I feel hopeless. I must really be hopeless."

8. "Should" statements - You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told herself, "I shouldn't have made so many mistakes." This made her feel so disgusted that she quit practicing for several days. "Musts," "oughts" and "have tos" are similar offenders.

"Should statements" that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration. Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general, lead to anger and frustration: "He shouldn't be so stubborn and argumentative!"

Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if they were delinquents who had to be punished before they could be expected to do anything. "I shouldn't eat that doughnut." This usually doesn't work because all these shoulds and musts make you feel rebellious and you get the urge to do just the opposite. Dr. Albert Ellis has called this " must erbation." I call it the "shouldy" approach to life.

9. Labeling - Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of saying "I made a mistake," you attach a negative label to yourself: "I'm a loser." You might also label yourself "a fool" or "a failure" or "a jerk." Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as what you do. Human beings exist, but "fools," "losers" and "jerks" do not. These labels are just useless abstractions that lead to anger, anxiety, frustration and low self-esteem.

You may also label others. When someone does something that rubs you the wrong way, you may tell yourself: "He's an S.O.B." Then you feel that the problem is with that person's "character" or "essence" instead of with their thinking or behavior. You see them as totally bad. This makes you feel hostile and hopeless about improving things and leaves very little room for constructive communication.

10. Personalization and Blame - Personalization comes when you hold yourself personally responsible for an event that isn't entirely under your control. When a woman received a note that her child was having difficulty in school, she told herself, "This shows what a bad mother I am," instead of trying to pinpoint the cause of the problem so that she could be helpful to her child. When another woman's husband beat her, she told herself, "If only I was better in bed, he wouldn't beat me." Personalization leads to guilt, shame and feelings of inadequacy.

Some people do the opposite. They blame other people or their circumstances for their problems, and they overlook ways they might be contributing to the problem: "The reason my marriage is so lousy is because my spouse is totally unreasonable." Blame usually doesn't work very well because other people will resent being scapegoated and they will just toss the blame right back in your lap. It's like the game of hot potato--no one wants to get stuck with it.



Don't forget to review the Ten Ways to Untwist Your Thinking as part of your Five Step work!

There is a Shake up in the City Council

The FBI has announced that they will be launching a full investigation into one of the deals city council has made. There was allegedly wrong doing and apparently it's not just Detroit's City Council memebers that will be investigated. Stay tuned for more.

Free HIV Testing

Wayne County will be offering free HIV tests in Detroit Friday, June 27, 2008.

The Wayne County Department of Public Health is offering free HIV testing and counseling Friday at between 8:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. anyone can be tested you don't have to be a Wayne County resident.

You can walk in or make an appointment by calling 734-727-7124.

Locations:

8:30 a.m.-4 p.m.: Wayne County Department of Public Health, 33030 Van Born Road, Wayne

9 a.m. to noon: Goodwill Industries-Wayne County Employment Training Center, 28526 Van Born Road, Westland

1-3:30 p.m.: Market Foods, 3760 Inkster Road, Inkster

Dial the number above for year-round testing and counseling; the health department holds evening hours on Wednesdays until 7 p.m. at its Taylor Clinic, 26650 Eureka Road.

Check it out.

Best,
Rainy

America is my Perspective

There’s a study and you can go to BNET.com and look through the videos to research the name of the exact study; who conducted it; and what book it’s in. The crux of the study is that we need dissenters in order to have the courage of our own convictions.
Those racists give us a perspective. For whites who are not racist coming face to face with a full-blown white nationalist lets you know emphatically that you are not a racist. (Now, maybe you are a little conservative, but definitely not a racist)
For blacks who think if only other blacks would not have so many children; have better diction; wear better clothes and stop talking about racism so much. You know, if blacks would just “be good.” Hate is a brick wall, incased in solid steel and forged with an unyielding ideology, you can’t be good enough. Jesus can, but you must know what you are up against first.
If you are a racist then coming into contact with any inciting incidence, that’s the defining moment of your life’s journey for all of us non-writers. That inciting incidence could be a woman yelling at you, she may happen to be Black. It could be a man getting the best of you in a fight, he may happen to be Latino. It could be someone getting the promotion you thought you deserved. They may happen to be Jewish. You might think that you became a racist because of one of these incidences, but the truth is you were always that way.
People have choices in who they become and as a rule we don’t take the easy way out in determining our own character. It can sometimes take a lifetime to get there, but in the case of a racist they choose an inciting incidence and use it as an excuse for their character. That’s sad.
If racism and hatred were caused by outside influences wouldn’t the removal of those outside incidences cause the eradication of racism? In Michigan, proposal 2 was passed overwhelmingly. They reversed state sponsored affirmative action. Several groups that received state funds had to change their names in order to continue to receive state funds. It would seem as though prop 2’s passage would have ended racism in Michigan. But, this website is setup in the state of Michigan in order to attack Detroit. Hum…
Now, back to the study, having the courage of your convictions within the confines of a group, community, system or organization can be hard if the predominate culture is to do what everyone else is doing. Most people just go with the flow. They don’t want to rock the boat. When there is someone that does rock the boat, it gives others the “permission” they need to be the individuals they are.
Yes, it can be said that racist have the courage of their convictions. Provided they aren’t hiding in plain sight, you know unless they’re in a group; at night; with sheets. OK, I’m done…
Incidentally, no pun intended, this type of going against the grain behavior makes the company, group, community and organization stronger, more creative and more lucrative.
That doesn’t mean the hater is right. It doesn’t make them any less of a tragic and rabid soul, but it makes you better. It’s like my mother and my grandmother used to tell me. “You can learn something from everyone, even if it’s how not to act.”
We can learn how not to be a racist, but we can also learn how to have the courage of our own convictions. That makes us better human beings, stronger contributors to society and wiser parents. It also makes us richer economically and cognitively. Basically the hate gives us a perspective on life that we would never have had.
So this means, form the beginning of the slave trade, to the Jim Crow South, to the need for affirmative action because of the refusal of people to hire blacks, to today’s issues of cops killing blacks. Racists are helping to forge a better, stronger, wiser, richer American and that American is black. Now, that’s quite a feat for people that hate blacks. Huh…
Bet you never thought of it that way, eh?
Best,
Rainy

The Black Expo- 6/6-6/8

Today I went to the last day of the Black Expo here in Detroit and it was great. I say this because originally I thought I would go to the expo and attend some workshops and learn some things and then go to the exhibits and kind of sort of network. There was a clinch in the amour and that was my partner. He didn’t want to follow the plan. He was noticeably agitated and it made me miserable. So after attending exactly one workshop on taxes I went to the exhibit hall and there I saw greatness. Not in the making, but in the now. My partner was in his element and oddly enough so was I. I was working that room, talking to people getting contact information, interacting with the big “dawgs.” I was fun and it was great practice. So let me get to the it was great part :).
So I originally went to the Black Expo on Friday, but I decided to go back today, Sunday, for the praise session and the black speaker’s session, but they didn’t happen. I wasn’t disappointed. I didn’t care. I went through those doors determined to meet people I didn’t meet the previous Friday and determined to sale myself and my writing services regardless of the simple change in schedule. As I walked and talked to people I met travel agents, realtors, title company owners and all matter of people. I learn valuable information and I secured some major ways to get in the black again.

Dick Gregory At the 2007 DBE

There was a picture of Obama, one of the artists had sketched it, but that’s it. There was no real presidential talk there was only business. The interesting thing about it is I don’t think I expected anything less. As a people Black Americans have historically focused on the now and respected the later. Whether Obama wins or not won’t determine Black America’s resilience any more then George Bush winning determined White America’s resilience. That is the power of America and that is the power of Capitalism. A little more on the power of Capitalism…
Never get take a brochure from someone that is crazy… I was talking to a woman and she said she couldn’t help me. Then I simply took a brochure to read. It’s an expo; businesses set out marketing materials and passersby take said materials. This is the way it is, but today as I took a brochure a hand grabbed my arm. It was firm and very determined. I turned to give an angry stare and the man looked at me and he said “I want my brochure back.”
I said “can’t I read it?”
He said “yes, then bring it back.” I tried to smile, but… there was a look of seriousness on his face that just made me think OMG this guy is what we call “Different.”
I said “OK, I will bring it back.”I left my own business card as collateral. I read the brochure and I talked to a few people at the exhibit, not related to the brochure of course. I then returned with the brochure as requested and he was happy… OMG. I then smiled and said here is your brochure, thank you very much and I then asked for my business card back. He was shocked…OMG… Gotta Love It... Just Gotta...
When I say great I mean great. I got humor, fun, information, monetary gain and the knowledge that life at an expo can be pretty darn balanced when you only attend one workshop. :)
Best,
Rainy